Hard Work!

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

I was innocently trying to capture a video of Lainey's "lunge" to get a toy, when suddenly I was confronted with an opportunity to record a video that I could forever use as blackmail for when she is a teenager. Behold, my finest videography moment - I caught Lainey pooping.

The First Boyfriend

The idea of my daughter dating in the future is quite a scary concept to me. I KNOW the kind of boys I hung out with when I was a teenager (ok ok...and even beyond that...). So, in an effort to control the situation, my friend and I decided to set up an arranged marriage. He's a Libra who enjoys sucking his thumb, eating mashed bananas, and can really jam on the drums. Blogging friends, I'd like to introduce you to Lainey's future husband - Jonathan:

Although Lainey played a little hard to get at their first meeting:

They have now been together nearly 4 months. Of course, as with any good marriage, there will always be some bad days:

And Jonathan is bound to get a little curious:

But as long as Lainey doesn't fall for the older man:

Things should turn out just fine!

Football Is Upon Us!

Well, it's official....I'm finally a real sports fan! I just received my first team hoodie in the mail.

This year I decided to try and keep up with football, since Travis loves it and everyone I watch it with gets annoyed when all I can do is point out funny names. So in an effort to stay cool, I decided to pick a favorite team. Who did I choose? The Eagles, of course. I'd love to say that I analyzed their plays, learned the positions and the players, and knew a little background on the coach. But the truth is that I picked the Eagles because I knew this day would come; the day in which I, Alex Star, had the opportunity to wear a real team hoodie. And I picked the Eagles because, quite frankly, I look darn good in their colors. Yep, that's the reason. If you'd like to argue, I'll take a picture of me in teal and prove you wrong!

So as I sit here, bored yet perfectly snug and cozy in my new fleece-lined $49-but-clearanced-to-$11 IN YOUR FACE embroidered zip-up Eagles gear, I have just one thing to say.........who is their quarterback again?

Things I Miss...

I miss my youth. I miss going down the block to play with my best friend, and then trying to sneak back after it had already gotten dark. I miss snowcones. I miss playing M.A.S.H. forty times in a row until I had finally gotten the job and the house that I wanted. I miss knowing that Thursday was Mac-n-Cheese day in the cafeteria, and that Friday was Oregon Trail day in computer class. I miss that these things were my life, and that anything beyond that was of no great importance.

I miss spending all night goofing off, and then rushing to finish my homework in study hall. I miss that last class on Friday afternoon, knowing that the weekend was all yours to do whatever you wanted to do. I miss knowing what each day held for you, what assignments were due, which class to go to. I miss sitting down to a good bowl of soup at Panera with that one creepy guy looking on in the background. I miss going on road trips with my best girls and Tom Petty blasting in the background. I miss being able to pick up the phone and meet them somewhere, whenever and for whatever.

I miss seeing my roommate Mike in his bright orange pants. I miss playing frisbee in the hallway and sleeping through fire alarms. I miss passing up schoolwork to download music from the comfort of my dorm room. I miss dressing up to go out for drinks, only to be reminded that college boys aren't worth it.

I miss my grandpa. I miss knowing that when I came home on the weekends I would be able to have lunch with him and catch up on the lady at church or the neighbor across the street. I miss the angel food cake he would prepare if he knew I was coming over, and the way he would cut me an extra big piece "just because". I miss the way that he listened to every word that I said like it was a matter of national importance. I miss his purple jacket.

I miss not having bills to pay, and being able to dish out a few extra bucks for those really cool must-have shoes. I miss spending my days off going to craft stores with my mom to pick out that perfect touch for the wedding decorations. I miss laughing at the smudged invitation that looked like a 4-year-old made it. I miss dropping by the gallery to show her my newest creation, and her encouragement that made me feel like I belonged among Rembrandt and Picasso. I miss painting.

I miss the predictability of youth. I miss having the future laid out for me as we did when we were young. I miss the days when yes meant yes and no meant no and anything inbetween was inconsequential. I miss knowing which step to take next, without fear of falling and without looking back. But in all of this, I guess the one thing that I miss the most is simply........my innocence.

Our mini....vacation?

My husband and I decided a while back that we need some much needed rest and relaxation, since it had been a while since we had been on a real vacation. Unfortunately, even though he had 11 whole days of vacation to use, I wasn't comfortable enough to leave Lainey for more than one night. So, where can one get a little R&R nearby? Why, SIX FLAGS, of course! What could possibly be more relaxing than being thrown 150someodd feet down a rollercoaster at 80 miles an hour?

Ok ok, so it wasn't so much about relaxation as it was about Travis and I being kids again. We had a lot of responsibility on our plate lately (not just baby, but family issues, work issues, etc etc) and we felt that if we were going to go somewhere for one night, I want it to be somewhere we could forget about everything....AND get a funnel cake. Unfortunately, my crystal ball wasn't working those two days, or I may have passed on the whole thing altogether.

We made good time traveling up there, and for once...ever?....we found our hotel with no major glitches. Since we arrived pretty early, we planned on spending the entire day spinning and whirling and twisting and turning until they kicked us out of the park around 10pm. But come 2pm, my husband was so twisted and whirled out, he could barely stand. He has never been one to suffer from motion sickness before (obviously, or Six Flags may not have been the destination of choice...) so this caught us by surprise. In an attempt to keep him from throwing up the slice of pizza we spent $14 on, we went in to see one of the shows in the auditorium, which was airconditioned. Never has there been as big of a waste of strobe lights as this show. It was a little like putting Britney Spears, a monkey, and that guy who sang "She Bangs" on stage with a few shots of tequila in them. But, I love my husband, and I didn't want to turn in my FlashPass quite yet, so I suffered through the entire hour.

So we wandered some more, though his stomach still couldn't handle any rides. We called it a night around 6 and headed back to our hotel, where I came upon disappointment #2. I forgot my swimsuit. Now this probably ended up being a blessing for everyone else in the hotel lobby, but I REALLY wanted to sit in the hot tub. Like, really really badly. *sigh* We ordered room service and I took a long hot bath. Close enough.

Next day, we stop at every Nike Outlet store we passed on the interstate so that my husband could find a pair of baby Jordan's. I'm not sure what sparked this seemingly impossible quest, but the last stop we made (at the Aurora Outlets) we found the Holy Grail. AND they were clearanced! Perhaps our luck is turning around?

NOPE. 30 miles from home, going 70 miles an hour, my rear driver's side tire exploded. It didn't go flat, it didn't lose air, it burst as though we were victims of a roadside bombing. Luckily, no one was near us and my husband managed to control the car enough to pull it over. His ability to change that tire to the spare in less than 20 minutes just confirmed one of the reasons I married him....because I am absolutely helpless when it comes to car repair. Had I been alone, I probably would have sat down on the shoulder of the road and sobbed. Come to think of it, I did that anyway.

SO we puttered back on our spare and got a set of new tires (which costs roughly about the same as two funnel cakes at Six Flags), picked up Lainey, and went home. Not exactly how I would have planned it, but when do things ever go the way you planned?

Happy 4th!

Ok ok, this *should* be labeled Happy 8th! thanks to my unfortunate procrastination gene. But regardless, I hope everyone had a good 4th of July.

Ours turned out . . . interesting. I must admit, I hold my holidays now to a very high standard. I am just so excited to have a little child to share all these great memories with that I mull things over in my head and plan them out, as if THAT makes any sense - how do you plan how a baby will react? So in my happy dreamland, Lainey and I went to the fireworks and she ooo'ed and awww'ed at them, delighted and spreading her tiny inncoent wonder on all the other onlookers sitting nearby. Of course, as you've probably guessed, this isn't exactly how the night went...

First of all, I was dismayed upon picking her up at my inlaws to find that Lainey had not had a single nap yet that day. However, dismayed would soon become an understatement when I ventured out to a late birthday dinner with one of my best friends, only to find Lainey absolutely and utterly inconsolable. Yes, I was THAT person at the restaurant. The one you roll your eyes at. The one nobody wants to sit next to. And, by golly, after about 15 minutes, there really weren't any other diners near us. Embarrassing, yes, but all the while I'm trying desperately to put this child to sleep. Her eyes were so red they looked like cherry tomatoes....

Finally, she dozed off, and we finished our meal and headed out to meet some of my coworkers for fireworks. I brought a few Morning Glories, a blanket, and reinstated my "perfect holiday" vision. But when we arrived at the grassy hill that was to be our viewing area, Lainey was greeted by an unexpected hourd of people who wanted to pinch and poke and hold her and she decided that she had had enough. Enter tantrum #2.

Luckily, even as cute as she was, people decided to leave her alone once the fireworks began and there she sat in my lap, happy and entranced by the lights and sounds. So, in the end, I still got my happy holiday memory. Now, for Labor Day......

Sleep? Who needs sleep?

I found this fun survey and thought "This looks like an interesting waste of my time..." I'm tired, so I'll admit that I didn't take it terribly serious. Enjoy!

I see - Lainey asleep on my bed with her legs spread-eagle...I guess we'll have to have a talk about that!
I want - to sleep, but I'm too awake.
I got - What sort of English is THAT? I got?
I wish - that I had three more wishes, and they would be...1) World Peace (enter cheesy Miss America wave) 2) that Travis and I live as long as and as happy as my grandparents were 3) that Lainey becomes a happy and inspired young woman
I hate - close-minded people, mornings, and especially close-minded people in the morning
I miss - my grandfather
I fear - for the state of our world when my children are grown up
I feel - happy that I am off for two more days!
I hear - the crickets, it's quite peaceful actually.
I smell - like a garden of wildflowers (At leastthat's what the shampoo company claims...)
I crave - adventure, something miles from ordinary
I wonder - if my daughter will EVER learn how to roll over?
I regret - nothing...if you can't change it, learn from it
I love - waking up on my own and seeing Lainey still sleeping...it's only happened once or twice but hey, a girl can dream.
I ache - when I have a long day at work.
I long - for the day when my child(ren) are old enough to travel alongside me and appreciate everything I can show them.
I care - about my family and friends.
I always - march to my own drummer
I am not - high-maintenance
I believe - in the right to live your life as you please. There are so many people who don't accomplish what they want or what they are capable of because of their spouse, or their family, or their God, or their economy, or their culture, or the color red, or their fear of being chased into the sea by killer bees...
I have - a moist towelette sitting on my desk, and I only JUST NOW made that observation or otherwise I wouldn't have mentioned it
I dance - when the mood strikes, it's good therapy
I sing - in the car, I like to serenade people driving alongside me...just my way of cheering people up, call me sunshine!
I cry - when I can't comfort my baby, or when I see that comerical about the dog who thinks his owner took him to the pound because he didn't fetch the ball fast enough
I do not always - show up on time, to know me is to love me though!
I succeed - at learning things for myself
I fail - at trying to learn things for someone else
I fight - for my right to party, and I was about to exchange words with the woman at the Wendy's I went to for lunch yesterday because she kept messing up my order - GET IT RIGHT, I only have half an hour for lunch! Cripes...
I write - therefore I am
I give - to the animal shelter and gifts, whenever I have a couple dollars to spare
I win - a CD from WLLR that I never went and got, and I try to win the lottery...I heard that your odds increase if you actually buy a ticket but I'm still skeptical
I lose - little parts of my brain, everyday
I never - wear a watch...eat peas...ride the city bus...judge people...have a good New Year's...wear my underwear outside my pants...
I’m confused - That's it, that's the whole sentence. I'm confused.
I listen - just as well as I talk!
I can usually be found - wandering the great depths of my own psyche. If you don't find me there, try my house.
I am - who I am...don't ask, don't question.
I am scared - of our government, and of someone close to me dying... OH, and spiders.
I hope - that you didn't fall asleep reading this.
I expect - that you probably DID fall asleep reading this.
I need - a nice weekend vacation =)

And It Keeps On Rising...

Apparently, that "mini-flood" back in early May was just a warm-up for Mother Nature's big main event. Already 10 feet ABOVE flood stage, my inlaws house is totally engulfed, forcing them from their home. Five blocks away from us, two of the main streets of our downtown are only accessible by boat. My beloved river parkway where I take Lainey to watch the geese (as I just blogged about!) is underwater as well. Here is a photo of that:

And here are a couple of the downtown Davenport/Quad Cities that I took from the SkyBridge:

Fortunately, we personally have only experienced minor basement flooding - which I consider a blessing considering how close we are to the Mississippi and how much damage it has done to others nearby. A few of my good art canvas' were ruined, as well as our Christmas tree and a couple assorted boxes of things. Probably the carpet, too. But luckily, all of this is replaceable. I can only hope we have seen the worst of it and that the waters will start to receed. I imagine there will be quite a few weeks ahead that we try and help my inlaws recover - physically and emotionally - as they repair and rebuild what the Mighty Mississippi has taken away.

One Year Ago

One year ago today, at around 8:30 am, I read my first "pregnant" on the 'ole Clear Blue Easy. It was the first of, well, let's say a few (color me obsessive!) and I could hardly contain myself. I had to work that day, which was painfully long thanks to my newfound secret, but as soon as I punched out I ran to the store, bought a cute little bib that says "I Love Daddy" (well, and a couple more tests - *just in case*). The idea was that I would wrap it up along with the positive test, in a cute little box, with a cute little bow, and give it to Travis for Father's Day.

Like most of my great ideas, this one didn't go exactly as planned. I DID wrap up the bib, and the test, in a cute little box with a cute little bow. I did not, however, anticipate the huge grin I had on my face as I sat there that night watching TV. My husband probably thought I had eaten some hallucinogenic beans or something, and finally asked what my problem was. Of course, I had to whip out the little box that I had done such a good job of keeping to myself for all of the half-an-hour I had been home.

I told him it was a Father's Day gift, to which he replied "I'm not your father." Thank you captain obvious! I asked him to open it anyway, which he did very....very....sloooowly. But the look on his face once the gift had registered with him was priceless!

And so, the next day, we celebrated the first of many Father's Days. And tomorrow, we celebrate again - except this time, our beautiful little girl can join in the fun!

A look back...

My baby is 4 months old today! I can't believe how much she has changed. Even though I have it documented, it seems impossible for her to have gotten so big so fast! Here is a look back: Newborn, One Month, Two Months, Three Months, and now, FOUR months old!

Outdoors

This child is a nature lover through-and-through. We took a trip to the bike path by the river today, where I parked Lainey in the stroller by a swarm of geese (ok ok, I KNOW they aren't called swarms - but if you had seen how many there were, you would have found swarm to be an accurate representation). She was absolutely enthralled. She stared at them until her eyes couldn't possibly get any bigger. 'What ARE these strange things?' I could almost hear her thinking, as if they were some alien life form sent here to steal all of our hunks of moldy bread. What I expected to be a 5 minute break turned into 45 minutes of us sitting, bonding, talking, laughing....who knew she was such an outdoorsy kind of gal?

I look forward to a whole summer of outings, BBQs, parks, and hikes with my newest partner-in-crime!

Journal

Obviously, this is not the best forum for me. For whatever reason, I'm pretty terrible at remembering that I even HAVE a blog, let alone posting anything on it. But here I am, ready to give it another go! I love to write, but somewhere between the feedings, washing bottles, reading bedtime stories, spending time with my husband, checking my email, doing laundry, etc etc etc, *MY* time gets shoved to the bottom of the ever-growing priority list. But then, I suppose most moms can relate...

I was cleaning out a closet the other day (another check-mark on that list!) and I found my old journal from middle school. Because this presented an opportunity not to finish the boring task at hand, I quickly decided to grab a drink, have a seat and descend back into my teenage years. Amongst the pages I found out a lot about myself - as it turns out, almost every entry involved Mountain Dew, my best friend Shay, and the name of my then-crush with HUGE hearts drawn all around it. Why was I so infatuated with this Jamie kid? I remember him, however vaguely, but more importantly I remember how absolutely taken I was with him. I wanted to dress nice for him, I wanted to sit next to him, I wanted him to ask me for a piece of gum - my life REVOLVED around his approval. Sometimes I envision him now, in his middle-twenties, with a college beer gut and a farmer's tan. Somehow, it makes me feel better.

In this journal I also lament on my social life, or lack-there-of thanks to the ackward age between not wanting to hang with your parents and not having a car to get away from your parents. We played video games, we talked about things deep and meaningful (like the plotlines of ER), we ate PopTarts, we walked up and down our street like we owned the town. I mentioned my pet gerbils, but only for two or three entries when I discovered that they were not, in fact, much fun as far as pets go. Salt and Pepper never made it to another entry until their passing 8 months later (strange, as I read back on this journal, that BOTH gerbils died in the same week...I might question my dad on this subject later...).

Anyhow, it was a fun day trip into my youth (and a fine excuse for not cleaning!). I'll have to keep it hidden away for when Lainey gets older - just so she can see that her mom DOES understand and WAS a crazy teenager at one point, too!

Memories

My grandmother lived in a nursing complex. I remember, back when I was still in middle school, we used to visit her a couple times a month. To get to her room, we had to pass through a maze of hallways and past numerous rooms and each time a certain resident - I think her name was Dorothy - would be sitting in the hall in a wheelchair. Periodically, she would yell for someone to answer the phone, or tell her daughter to turn down the heat, or ask where Pookie is, to no one in particular. Assuming her thoughts had been scrambled by old age, we typically walked by and said “hello” politely but avoided eye contact.

Ten years ago, my grandmother passed away. We walked that same long hallway to collect a few of her personal items. On the way, there sat Dorothy. Just as the “hello” came out of my mouth, Dorothy grabbed my hand very softly, as a mother would to a child, and whispered to me “We hope she has a safe trip.” Startled, I merely said “Thank you” and pulled my hand away, continuing down the hallway. As we rounded the corner, I wondered if perhaps, for that fleeting moment, she was completely aware and was offering her strange condolences…

Last Tuesday was a milestone for another grandmother of mine. She turned 90 glorious years old, and we celebrated with her on Sunday in the wine cellar of a delicious Italian restaurant. There we were at this long candle-lit table, surrounded by many of her friends who were sharing stories and memories and laughing like a bunch of teenagers. Suddenly, that nursing home memory came flooding back, and I felt very sorry for poor Dorothy.

I hope, when I turn 90 (and notice I said “when” and not “if”, because in 60 years from now I imagine health science will be one of bionic limbs and robotic hearts and all these sorts of Sci-Fi gadgets), that I am able to remember these days right now. I want to be able to remember my daughter as a baby, remember my wedding day, remember riding around in the car when I was in high school because that was the only “cool” thing to do in our town. And when the time comes, instead of being lost in a wheelchair somewhere, I want to be able to think back on it all and say “What a great life that was.”

It Pays to Work

Today was my first day back at work after a 9-week hiatus. Notice I didn't use the word *vacation*, as my husband keeps referring to it. I can hardly compare a mountain of laundry, a fountain of spit up, and the toxic fumes that are Lainey's diapers to sunbathing in the Bahamas. However, as I realized today, working cannot hold a candle to these chores I have become to know and love...

First of all, I work in a place where your salary is based on commission. No sales = no money. And guess what? Thanks to my hourly babysitter, I actually PAID to work today. But my head wasn't in the game, either. I really missed those chubby cheeks - spit up and all. Dropping her off this morning was hard, even if that distressed look she gave me as I walked out was really just gas. I didn't cry though, I maintained. That doesn't get her totally off the hook though either. I'd like to think that little Lainey is wiser than she looks, and may have been purposely sabotaging my first day back as a working mom. 3 am rolls around and finds her fussing - not awake enough to nurse, not tired enough to sleep - and there we stayed until almost 6 am. So of course, even if I WAS all gung-ho for work, I didn't have nearly the mental capacity to hold a conversation much more complicated than "Where is the coffee?"

I can't say that it was all bad, though. I firmly believe that every mom needs a day off sometimes just as if she were punching a time clock. Adult interaction is drastically underestimated. A sliver of me enjoyed being able to talk without turning everything into a rhyme ("Look at this table-wable!") and without the word "poop" coming up. Ok ok, there may have been ONE poop joke....but I digress...

All in all, we both survived this milestone. Hopefully in time I will re-adjust back into my career and loosen the strings on my baby girl, knowing that she is in good hands. After all, she will always be my Lainey-Bainey-Boo-Boo - at least until she is old enough to be embarrassed by that.

Where Art Thou?

Where have I been, you ask? Well, somewhere between Christmas and having a 9-pound child surgically removed from my womb, I must have lost track of time. Believe it or not, blogging has not been a top priority for me in the past few months. Truth be told, I forgot I even created this website. So much for my high ambitions. But alas, I am back and ready to post - during naptime, of course. Oh, and for the curious, here is the child of which I spoke earlier: