20 Days, 18 Hours, and 14 Minutes

Only 20 days, 18 hours and 14 minutes until I'm on my way to paradise. Not that I'm counting…
A couple months ago, a coworker and I decided that work wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and that we needed to spend some much needed time off - preferably somewhere where the weather never went below 68 or above 72 and the men were tanned and muscular. After Googling both of these criteria, we found our perfect trip. Now I know what you're thinking… "Alex, you're so intelligent. Wouldn't you rather spend your well-earned vacation in a museum learning about renaissance art or at a historical landmark that shaped our country as we know it?" The answer? No. No, I don't want to learn. I don't want to read. I don't even want to fold my own towels. All I want to do is nothing, and I want to do it with a fruity mixed drink with an umbrella in it. Food, ocean, drinks, and palm trees. THAT is what I want.

And in 20 days, 18 hours, and 11 minutes, we will be on our way to Cozumel and Costa Maya, Mexico, via New Orleans. Why New Orleans? Because, quite frankly, it was cheapest. I'm sure people are still afraid that perhaps the New Orleans airport is still operating without a roof, but what the hay - cheaper digs for me! Plus the same flight to Miami (the cruise's other departure point) was about 23989132309 times the price. Who CARES if the Superbowl is in town that weekend? I just want my umbrella drink. So I think our N.O. choice was a good one - that is, unless the Saints make it into the Superbowl. In which case, we plan on holing ourselves up in our room with a remote and a 6-pack.

And because of my friend's quirky fear of holes, we had to opt for a cabin with no porthole window…so I imagine our closet suite will feature a bunk bed and a toilet doubling as a nightstand. But yanno what? I don't CARE. Did I mention there will be tanned and muscular men there? Perhaps even SERVING us umbrella drinks as they were in the brochure? I'd sleep on a deck chair for that.

And so in 20 days, 18 hours, and 6 minutes, I will be boarding the plane that will whisk me away to Fantasy (no really, that's the name of the boat..). To those of you I know and love, I will be sure to take a picture of myself before I go. It's quite possible that I may not be coming back….